dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
