Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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