I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
