you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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