piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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