He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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