Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
