That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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