Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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