i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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