Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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