apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
