i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
