and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
