I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
