Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
