"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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