you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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