Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
