We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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