Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
