gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
