Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
