I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
