handjob tips. give me some.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
