Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
