just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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