I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
