I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i out mim tonsoeep
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