Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
