He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the day after is always just damage control
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize