Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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