garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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