I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
