He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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