in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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