Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
