Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
