im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
