Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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