I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
