I'm so fucking centered right now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
