I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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