Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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