Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
