the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize