why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I believe in your delicious
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
