Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
