That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
