Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
