I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
