I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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