I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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