i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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