The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize