forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
