one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
