Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm jealous of your bromance
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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