Who did Billy Mays play for?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
