Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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