My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
