i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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