Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
So. Much. Porn.
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