he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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