I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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