I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
