Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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