So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
