i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
